Back At Your Door
by MerryH
Summary: Blaine makes the biggest mistake of his life in an attempt to do what he thinks is the right thing - but he always ends up where he needs to be. Oneshot based on Back At Your Door by Maroon 5, unrelated to my other Klaine fics.


Blaine had screwed up. Badly. Lying awake in his Dalton dorm room, he stared at the ceiling, trying to make sense of how he could possibly been such an idiot. He'd liked Kurt, was starting to fall for him completely, and things had been getting more and more serious – but in a pathetic attempt to protect _himself, _he had told himself that the right thing to do was to not let things go any further. Kurt wasn't ready, he'd decided. He's young and he needs a friend, not a boyfriend, and while they'd been together for a little while now, they'd had countless fights and Blaine was starting to lose track of the times they'd exploded at each other.

Underneath his cool, calm and collected exterior, Blaine had an angry streak, and was prone to burst at any second, and he tended to take it out on Kurt because he knew that at the end of the day things would be okay, because they really cared for each other, and Kurt cared about him, and he would forgive him. Kurt put up with it, but Blaine kicked himself every time he saw Kurt cry or storm out due to his own selfishness or temper. He deserved better than that, and he'd finally realised that the only way to stop being so selfish was to let Kurt go, let Kurt find someone who wasn't going to take him for granted.

Forget the fact that Blaine had been hurt, badly, and was scared as all hell to let someone get that close again – this was _purely_ because he was worried about Kurt getting hurt down the track. Better to break it off now, he reasoned, than hurt the both of them even more if it didn't work out. The thoughts had bounced back and forth in his head and 4 months after he had kissed Kurt for the first time, he had found himself sitting across from the one person he'd never intended to hurt, sobbing and angry.

It was only once he saw the tears running down Kurt's cheeks that he realised what he was doing. He wanted so badly to reach out and stop the flow of tears, like he had so many times before when they'd fought, to say he was sorry and to say he was making a mistake and didn't know what he was saying – fuck, to just be honest for once, honest with Kurt, honest with himself. By the time all these thoughts finished rushing to the forefront of his mind, Kurt had left, the door slamming behind him and a shout of "Don't you dare speak to me again, you fucking jerk!" echoing in Blaine's head.

He rolled over, staring at the picture frame in front of him on his bedside table. It was a picture of the two of them taken outside the movies a few weeks ago, that Kurt had given him as a gift. They looked so happy. It was the happiest Blaine had ever been, and like an idiot, he had run away from the best thing that had ever happened to him.

It had been two weeks since everything had happened. Kurt's favourite jacket, which he had abandoned in a hurry that night as he rushed out of the room, was still hanging on the end of the bed. Blaine had spent the past few nights with it pressed to his cheek, as he cried into it after numerous declined phone calls.. He'd tried to talk to him in the halls, or go to his dorm, but Kurt was adamant there was no way he was going to speak to him anytime soon, barely acknowledging Blaine's existence. He'd had countless conversations with Kurt's roommate and closest friend, Tom, begging him to let him speak to Kurt, who simply asked him politely to please leave every time before closing the door in his face.

Being the headstrong person Kurt was, he would never back down from a fight. This didn't mean he didn't care; he was just a stubborn, beautiful boy. Blaine managed a half-smile through the tears that were now slowly cascading down his cheeks at the memory of knocking on his door after one particularly horrible fight. The door had swung open to reveal Kurt, eyes red and as drop-dead gorgeous as ever, who had simply said, "You are a jerk, and you are so lucky that I care about you so much." He smiled even more at the memory of Kurt pulling him gently towards him for a soft kiss, as they both murmured apologies into each others lips.

_No. _He couldn't leave it anymore. He may not have realised before, but Kurt was everything. The risk of getting hurt, my god, it was worth it, so fucking worth it, and of course he was stupid enough to project his own fears about his past onto the boy who had done nothing but love him, give him everything, the boy who had been handed nothing but hell for half his life. What kind of person _was_ he? Doing that to Kurt, hurting him when he had promised him that he would never do so.

He so badly wanted to go and do something right then and there, but he knew Kurt had gone home for the weekend. Blaine reached for his phone and unplugged it from charge, dialing the numbers he knew by heart and bringing the phone to his ear. It rang once before he hung up. He couldn't fix this with a phone call this time, or just appearing at his door. He had to do more. He had to prove to him that he was everything he had ever wanted and that he would never, _ever_ hurt him again. He sat up, bursting into audible sobs, and threw his phone at the closet. The sound that followed was almost satisfying. Thank god his roommate had also gone home for the weekend. He reached out to the end of the bed and plucked Kurt's jacket from it, clutching it close to him and breathing deeply. The scent of him filled Blaine completely and he curled up on his side, closing his eyes and pretending that he was holding Kurt again, ready to cry away the next few days until Kurt's return.

* * *

Kurt sat across from Mercedes, staring at his coffee cup. He could feel his eyes filling as he listened to her detailing all the things wrong with Blaine.

"He's been treating you terribly Kurt, and I know you love him, and I know you say he loves you, but this is too far. He's wasting your time and he's letting you compromise yourself, and that's just not right. You can't let him do this anymore."

He could feel her eyes staring at him, but he didn't have the strength or the will to raise his own to meet hers, to see her concern, to see her hurting so badly because she was worried about _him_.

"I wish it was that simple, Mercedes. I really do."

* * *

Blaine hesitated slightly, his hand raised to knock on the door of Kurt's room. He knew that Tom had a chemistry final the next day and had made sure that he was studying in the library before he'd rushed to Kurt's room, breathless and scared. He stared at the door in front of him, the door that held so many different scenarios and situations behind it, the door he'd stared at so many times before. This time was different. He wasn't going to give up on this. He rapped his hand against the door, and he heard a shuffle as Kurt came towards the door.

As soon as the door opened, all logical thought went out the window. Seeing Kurt standing there before him, just as ethereal as ever, emotion hit Blaine like a truck. Everything he'd missed, everything he'd felt, Kurt's skin, scent, eyes, his long, dark lashes, every single feeling came rushing towards him. The speech Blaine had prepared, everything he'd wanted to say disappeared. He opened his mouth, praying that something would come out before Kurt slammed the door in his face. Kurt took one look at him and began to shut the door, but Blaine caught it with his foot.

"Please! Kurt, please, just let me speak."

Blaine's eyes were the epitome of desperation and as much as Kurt wanted to spit back in his face, he felt himself open the door and step aside to let Blaine in. Blaine let out a sigh of relief and walked past him, his hand trailing through his unkempt hair as he swung around. Kurt closed the door and turned pointedly, his lips thin, as graceful as ever.

"I'm sorry."

Kurt raised an eyebrow, and opened his mouth to speak but Blaine interrupted him.

"I'm not - I'm not here to apologize about breaking up with you. I'm here to apologize for everything else. I'm here because losing you was the only thing that made me realize just how much I need you around. I've been going crazy, sitting in my room, just hating how much of an idiot I've been. You deserve the world, you deserve so much better than that, than me, and I just wanted to give you a chance to find better than me. I was so scared to let you in, to let you be everything to me, that I pushed you away and I made excuses and I got angry at you in some sick attempt to convince myself that _you_ weren't ready for me. At the end of the day, it was me that wasn't ready for you. I wasn't ready for you to come along and – and change my life. You could be with anyone Kurt, you're special, and you're smart, and you put up with me, all my stupid shit and my insecurities and the fact that I lose it at you all the time. I don't want to be that person anymore Kurt, because that person doesn't deserve you, and I _want_ to deserve you. Please, please, give me another chance to prove to you that I will never ever hurt you like this again."

Kurt took a step closer and Blaine searched his eyes, desperately trying to find some sign of what he was feeling. Kurt opened his mouth and quietly spoke.

"I've let you walk all over me for the past four months. When it's good, when _we're_ good… we're unbelievable Blaine. But when it's bad… God. It kills me. I kept telling myself that I could change you, but the only person that can change you is you. You really hurt me, Blaine."

Blaine reached out to take Kurt's hand and he pulled away, flinching slightly. He turned around and Blaine stared at his back, trying to stop shaking at the thought that this might be it for the two of them.

"Kurt, please. I swear, I'll do whatever I have to. You're my reason for living, and there is no way I'm giving up now. I'll do anything. Please."

He knew he was begging, but not one part of him cared. He would do anything to make things better, to go back and to never make the mistake he did. Kurt looked at him over his shoulder, tears in his eyes. He just wanted to reach out and pull him into his arms, make everything better, take away all the pain, the pain _he_ had caused, and he found himself moving before he even decided to.

He stepped towards Kurt and wrapped his arms around the boy's waist from behind. He heard a sharp intake of breath as Kurt's eyes closed, his head unwillingly tilting back into the crook of Blaine's neck, tears dripping down his face. Blaine kissed his neck gently, their tears mingling together as Blaine pulled him closer. They stood there for a moment, crying quietly, the warmth from each other as painful as it was comforting.

"Blaine?" Kurt choked out, and Blaine opened his eyes to look into Kurt's. He didn't speak, just waited patiently, his heart aching.

"Why do you do this to me?"

Kurt turned in Blaine's arms and crashed their lips together, fierce and desperate and hungry. They were both still crying and Blaine gripped Kurt's face as Kurt wrapped his arms around his neck. He tasted fire and pain and metal, their lips doing all the speaking for them. When Kurt pulled away, they stared at each other, foreheads touching.

"I won't. Not anymore. I love you, Kurt."

He took his hand and led him to Kurt's bed, climbing in and gently pulling the boy down next to him. He wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight, and stared into his eyes. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, until he lent forward and gently kissed Kurt on the forehead. Kurt closed his eyes, taking a moment to just be before opening his eyes and narrowing them at Blaine.

"You were an idiot, and you are _so_ fucking lucky I love you too."

"Yes, I am."


End file.
